3 years ago today my wife’s suffering ended.
The memories of that day are still vivid. Crystal clear. 3 years later.
3 years. I’m sitting here attempting to reflect back on these 3 years and I’m having a hard time crystalizing what happened since that Father’s Day in 2013. I’ve done a lot. Seen a lot. Met a lot of great people. Experienced things most people will never experience (and I’m talking about the good things, not the bad). Yet much of it is a blur.
Don’t get me wrong. I have some very vivid memories of the past 3 years. Many, in fact. Good times. Sad times. Fortunately more awesomeness than sadness.
As cliché as it may sound, I’ve spent a lot of the past 3 years finding myself. Or rather, looking. As I’ve certainly got a long way to go.
I’m finding my footing. Figuring things out. Exploring the possibilities. Trying to figure out what is important to me and what I need to shed.
I also feel like I’ve done a lot of coasting in the past 3 years.
I worked at a job that wasn’t satisfying (quite the opposite, actually) for far too long.
I’ve had no definite plans for the future (though I’m coming to terms with this not being a bad thing).
I feel like I’ve done a lot of just existing. And I’m OK with that. It was necessary. I’ve had my fill of that for now and it’s time to change gears.
I’ve passed 2 years on the road. TWO YEARS! Already? That alone is hard for me to comprehend. In some ways it seems longer than 2 years. In some ways it seems like I’ve just started out. Life is funny that way. And I’m perfectly fine with that.
For the past 6 months I’ve slowed down and have been enjoying this new pace. Immensely. I no longer feel like I’m constantly in motion, which is a VERY nice change.
I quit my soul-sucking job and am taking the steps necessary to once again enjoy working. Something that’s been lacking for far too long.
I’ve stopped coasting. I’ve put things into gear. Into motion.
I’m thinking of the future, though I’m still embracing having Jello plans.
I’m still trying to figure many things out, but I feel like I’m in a better place today than I was in 2013. And that’s a
good great thing.
I’m loving all the new friends and solid relationships I’ve been fortunate to have come into my life after embracing my new lifestyle.
This new life is one that came about under the worse of circumstances but is one that I’m accepting and loving to the fullest. That’s what life is all about. Taking your punches and coming out on the other end better and still upright.
3 years since my wife’s passing. 2 years on the road. 1 man trying to figure his shit out.