My Latest Life Event

I’ve been doing contract work for the same company coming up on 4 years. When I started back in 2012 my wife and I had just relocated to Florida’s Gulf Coast and we were starting over in many ways (new area, new friends, new job). We were changing things up in our life after having been stagnant for far too many years. But that didn’t last long.

Before my first anniversary with the company, my wife had received her diagnosis, we moved to North Carolina to seek treatment, and then I found myself alone. The third anniversary of my wife’s passing is right around the corner and while much has changed, much has stayed the same.

I’m still a very emotional person, especially this past week. I’ve thought a lot about what happened starting in 2012. What the result was. Where it has brought me. What I have experienced in the past few years. And the emotions have been flowing.

Almost 2 years ago I wrote about how long the grieving process is supposed to last. I still don’t have an answer. Not sure I ever will. But I am living proof of one aspect of grieving – it’s ongoing. For me, it’s cyclical. I’ll have good stretches. I’ll have stretches where I think a lot about the last 3-4 years. I’m in one of the later stretches now.

Not sure if anything out of the ordinary brought along this latest stretch. It could be the upcoming 3 year anniversary of my wife’s passing. It could be the thought process leading up to my latest life event, which has brought up many emotions I’ve experienced over the past 4 years. It could be it’s just that time in the cycle.

So that brings me to my latest decision. My latest life event. This past weekend I gave my notice to the company I have been contracting with for almost 4 years. They have been a part of this whole experience. My work there has been the one stable piece of my life as I dealt with everything. As I grieved. As I transitioned into the nomadic lifestyle. As I tried to figure out this new life I found myself leading.

But it is time for me to move on. I don’t have another job lined up, but I do know what I’m going to do for income. I’m going back to my special kind of happy place. I’m going back in business for myself. Something that I have done in the past. Something that really made me happy. I’ll need to devote 100% of my time and my energy to this pursuit, so I gave notice.

I’ve been very successful in slowing down this year and that is going to be a huge help as I get my new venture up and running. I’m beyond excited but I’m not gonna lie to you, it’s strange. Strange that I’m ending something that has been a part of my life through these trying times. Strange to be making a decision that, while I know is the correct one for me to make, doesn’t come without the thought of “oh, shit, I have to make this work!” But that’s exciting. It’s all on me. And I like that!

29 thoughts on “My Latest Life Event

  1. Go get it Marshall. Sometimes the change makes us, sometimes we gotta make the change. I’m fairly certain that will never change. 🍻

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  2. You know I am both cheering you on and will be here to support you in whichever ways you find yourself needing, Marshall. I think the action of finally making the decision is going to bring you tremendous energy. Keep honoring all parts of your journey and you will be fine. That doesn’t mean you won’t be very sad at times, and at others, blink and not even know where you are.
    You have courage. That’s what this life requires.

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    • Thank you so much, Jill! I appreciate all your past, and future, support! This is just a new chapter in my ongoing journey to, well, Find Marshall (OMG, did I just say that?).

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  3. Marshall, you are taking that leap and I love it. Know that you will have our thoughts and prayers with you as you start on this next chapter. We’ve got your back too. Love Jill’s comment here. Love that gal.

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  4. Well, I’m really, really, really excited for this new chapter of your life, Marshall! And I’m really, really, really grateful that I can continue to follow your adventures here and on various social media channels, because I’m sure going to miss having you as a coworker!

    ALL THE BEST!!!! ❤

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    • Ah, that’s very sweet of you, Megan! I’ll definitely miss certain people from AG, and you are one of them! But thanks to social media, we can continue to stalk each other! 😳

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  5. Totally excited for you for this new phase of life! Everything in life has cycles and finding what makes you happy is the only true guide. I wish you all the best!

    Nina

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  6. It has been a time of changes. On the one hand I can’t believe that it has already been four years that we’ve been working together and on the other that it has only been four years.

    I’m not always very good about keeping my sincere promises to keep in touch. I really want to. So, as with things for work, you may have to occasionally nag me. Please, please do.

    And I absolutely wish you the best with your next stages.

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    • Thank you so much Jeff! Time has a way of flying away from me. I’d love to stay in touch during this next phase of my professional life. It’ll be interesting to see what the next four years have in store for me. ☺️

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  7. I’ve been staring at the screen for two minutes. Befogged. (Guess what? I’m emotional too; I hide behind my sarcasm — then again, you probably knew that a long time ago).

    When I snap out of my fog, I’ll email you. But for now, I’ll stop being selfish and just say this new chapter, whatever it is, is fantastic. To make *any* change in the fourth decade is hard. Then again, you journey (verb) more than anyone I know. You’re a journeyman. I admire that. Indeed, from time to time, I have imagine myself in a trailer traveling the lands. I don’t know if I could do it, but you have set down some kindling in the corner. Not a spark mind you, but twigs are brittle, desiccated.

    In your footsteps…

    Steve

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    • Thanks for that Steve. That’s very kind. Emotions. Yeah. I definitely got ’em. I kinda knew you did too. 😉 Change is definitely hard. Especially, as you put it, in the fourth decade. Damn. That sounds weird. But true. Set those twigs on fire! We aren’t getting any younger!

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  8. Grief is a bit like driving cross-country: some bits of the road are twisty, some flat & boring, and some are Rocky Mountain grades with hairpin switchbacks. All you can do is keep your eyes on the road & push on. Like everyone else here, we’ve got your back on both the “road trip” & the new venture. Go make it happen!

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    • Very well said, Jeanette! And knowing that y’all have my back was a factor in the decision. A support system is vital both in my journey with grief and this new journey in my professional life. Love you guys for it!

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